Hi guys!
Recently, I push myself to enrich myself with new knowledge by subscribing to e-workshops in LinkedIn Learning, General Assembly and Coursera. Thanks to those platforms that provides free courses! Love it ❤️ I chose interesting topics such as communications-related subjects and soft skills for my personal development.
One of my favorite courses is "Communication Strategies in A Virtual Age" by University of Toronto. Despite the easy-to-understand contents from the tutor, Ivan Wanis Ruiz, this course offer insightful lessons that I can relate to working and even daily life. He delivered the module in short videos wherein many examples were given to explain the concepts or theories. Since I think it is a good course, I would like to share some lessons that I got from the course in several articles. The first article, which is the one you are reading now 😁, discuss about the three traps of communication, especially in the virtual age.
Let's Start!
1. Speaking In Third Person
Which one do you think is more powerful in influencing you to select a good barbershop?
1) She said that "XXX" barbershop. The barbershop guarantees that you will get the best experience while you are going to get great hairstyle. You will also get some tips from our experienced stylist.
2) Today, I went to "XXX" barbershop, and the staff was really friendly. I was welcomed by a refreshing drink. I do not need to wait for a long time to get my turn. And you know what, the stylist was giving me many suggestions and tips to treat my hair.
I bet you choose number 2, just like me. Why? Because in the case of number 2 is someone told you his or her experience in getting haircut in the barbershop, thus you are more convinced that the barbershop is great indeed. Meanwhile, the first case uses third person in which someone told you other's experience. You are not sure whether it is the good barbershop or not since the story does not belong to the person who told you so.
Ruiz said in the course that "evidence does not change people's mind, but a Facebook post will." Indeed, although evidence is a valid and thus generate strong arguments, a personal story that people can connect with is more effective in persuasion. It is because personal stories tell specific examples. In addition, Chouliaraki (2012), one of scholars whose journal about advocacy, also argues that personalized stories invite public to witness and reflect sufferers' pain as part of shared fate ('universality'), and provoke sensibilities as human beings.
We know that personal stories cannot guarantee the same results in all cases. However, if we use this type of communication, in persuasion and negotiation, people are still convinced, they still get excited and want to try. In contrast, third-person communication style may sound too hard-selling. Hence, avoid using third person!
2. Speaking In Formal Language
If we think that using formal language can help to show politeness or how intelligent you are, you are wrong. The fact is, according to Ruiz, speaking in formal language brings about no impact to get what we want from others. It is because you only complicate the message you want to convey by the use of words or phrases that you would not use when you are talking to a friend or one-on-one. Your partner may think "what the hell are you talking about?" 😅
However, how about if you are in formal environment where speaking formal language is required (e.g. meeting with management team)? Ruiz said that you can start the communication with formal then make transition to less formal. For instance, you may greet the CEO and ask the first several questions in formal language. When the CEO has showed interest in your topic, then you can start speaking informal. It requires practices to be skilled in this communication technique, for sure. Yet, we can keep this principle to generate positive outcomes from the communication.
3. Speaking With Too Many Details
We may unwittingly convey too many details in our communication or presentation wherein our partner or audiences do not raise any questions afterwards. After that, awkward moment happens 😱 That's why avoid revealing all details in our communication, especially when you expect interactive conversation with the audience(s).
Ruiz argues that today's trend of virtual communication is going towards shorter conversation as human attention span is getting shorter and shorter too. Very detailed explanation can only ruin the core message. Therefore, we should keep in mind these two points:
- Communicate briefly. Create curiosity about your idea - leaving "a room" for your partner or audiences to ask something to you.
- Use a vivid detail. Instead of elaborating each points with unnecessary details, visualizing a picture in the audiences' mind will be effective to make them understand our message. For instance, when you describe a beautiful beach in the town, you can ask them like "Do you know how beautiful Maldives beach is? Yep, that's how the beach, that I visited last week, looks like. It's so damn picturesque!"
What do you think about the three traps above? Do you do those mistakes? Well, I still do hahaha However, thanks to Riuz who reminded us to avoid speaking in third person and formal language as well as put too many details in our communication.
I hope this article is useful to improve your communication skills. See you in the next article!